Dating in 2024
The world of dating has shifted a lot over the past decade. Online dating is a great way to connect and meet the people you’re looking for. For young adults, Dating can often be confusing, nerve-racking, and seem like a sea of vulnerability. We go from exploring and playing in childhood into the teenage years and then suddenly in a season where people are dating and getting married. It can be a funny shift from contentment of what the next right step is to a world of anxiety feeling like you need to catch up with what next steps are. I believe each persons story is right on time and continuing to explore who you are and enjoying the season.
Your end can be most helpful.
Life can be an overwhelming ladder to climb. We often think are we on track, are we doing the right thing for our careers, am I on track for my age? We go from life with our parents going to school at home and then often peoples next step is college. After college, the world is open. We can go travel in Europe for a year, we could start our own business, we could get married and have kids. Post college is the first time that we aren’t all during the same thing. I believe in this culture of the south, we feel the next step after college is marriage. Navigating dating can be pressure filled and exciting all at the same time.
I am no expert in dating just a preface. But here were some things that kept me grounded during seasons of dating.
Number one. Know yourself. What are the things that you believe, what are your values? What do you hope to bring another person in a dating relationship?
Number two. Are you becoming the person you’re looking for? Are you taking steps in work, faith, and friendships, that you hope that your significant other is also? Another way to say this is are you becoming who you’re looking for.
Number three. It’s not like the movies and that’s OK! There will be awkward moments in dating! Give yourself AND them grace - they are just human too! The grace to be awkward, say something kinda weird, act nervous….you wouldn’t want someone to discount you for those things so don’t discount them for it either! We are human and we are doing our best!
Number four. Be open and curious. If you have a type when looking for a significant other but if someone is meeting your values and your goals in life more than their matching your favorite hair color or fashion style, be open get to know them all the different parts that make them who they are!
Number five. Keep a community around you! You’re not alone! The things your feeling and thinking other people are or have thought them before too - so talk to other people about it!!!! include others in your relationship!!!! In life and dating, we need help in remembering who we are and the kind of people we want to do life with. We are who we surround ourselves with.
Number six. Trust the process. Dating can be scary. I can be filled with heartbreak and insecurity. But, it can also be filled with excitement, joy and love. And learning. Take the risk and don’t waver on who you are.
Lastly, number seven. Are you enjoying who you’re becoming with this person? Continue to be yourself yet are they making you better? Are they pushing you towards your values? Are they pushing you to better yourself? Find someone who lifts you up.
Dating is fun, confusing, exciting, nerve-racking, and hopeful. There’s so many things dating is. It’s stretching and refining. A place for healing and growth. And maybe love. Continue to rest in your current joys in life.
Brooke Bourne Lawrence
Licensed Professional Counselor
