What to say when your kid has panic attacks
Panic attacks are becoming more prevalent unfortunately. Knowing what to look for, what to do, and what to say (and not say!) can help deescalate the intensity of a panic attack and prevent future heightened moments of panic.
As a parent, you might be asking, “how do I know if my child is having a panic attack?” so it is important to define what a panic attack is. A panic attack is a brief moment of extreme anxiety that manifests in physical sensations. It is important to note that it is much more intense than a typical moment of anxiety. Here are some things to look for…
Sweating
Shaking
Rapid breathing
Dizziness
Body tension
Upset stomach/nausea
Excessive crying leading to hyperventilating
Chest pain
A choking sensation
Extreme thoughts (ex: I’m going to die, I can’t breathe, etc.)
*Although these are the most common symptoms, it is important to note that not all of these symptoms are required for it to fall into the cateogry of a “panic attack.” It can look differnt for everyone.
When your child is initially in this place of panic, you first once to activate their sensory brain. Asking them questions might be too overwheleming at first, but once their anxiety is starting to deescalate, they will likely be able to use their verbal brain. In short, our bodies must come to a place of grounding before our mind can.
So how can you support your child if they are having a panic attack?
Ground them in visualizing something calming (a happy place, a favorite pet, etc.)
Ask them questions you know for a fact that they know the answers to (ex: who is your best friend? What did you eat for lunch? What happened in *favorite movie*? )
Ask them to do simple math with their fingers (ex: can you show me what 2 + 2 is?)
Give them something tangible to touch or squeeze (fidgets are great here, specifically ones that they can squeeze to release excess energy in the nervous system)
Engage their senses! Turn on some calming music, bring out a strong smell, utilize ice packs, get them a snack. Addressing the sensory portion of the brain communicates that the brain can calm down.
Lead them through box breathing.
Ask them to name things they can hear, taste, see, and touch.
Encourage them to take turns squeezing your right hand and then left hand…this will activate bilateral stimulation in the brain leading it to calm down
Guide them through butterfly tapping by crossing their arms over their chests and slowly tapping each side. This will also activate bilateral stimulation.
Give them some ice water.
Get them moving or change their environment.
Utilize their pet for comfort.
What to say to your child in a panic attack:
“I am here with you.”
“You are safe.”
“Breathe with me.”
“I am not going anywhere.”
“This is temporary and it will pass.”
“Tell me what you need whenever you can.”
What not to say in a panic attack:
“Just calm down!”
“You have no reason to worry!”
“Just try to relax.”
If you are noticing your child exhibit any of these symptoms, they could benefit from therapy. Therapy is shown to be one of the most effective ways for a child to grow in their coping skills and decrease their anxiety. At Simplify, our counselors use techniques like… Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Exposure Therapy, Mindfulness and Relaxation techniques, and Somatic Awareness to guide our clients to experience the world with more peace and freedom and less anxiety. If you feel you or your child could benefit from learning how to manage the intensity of panic attacks, feel free to reach out to one of our mental health professionals today!
Sarah Durrance
Licensed Associate Professional Counselor
