Tantrum Tamers: Proven Techniques to Help Calm Your Child this Holiday Season and Beyond
No parent is a stranger to the dreaded tantrum. While tantrums are developmentally normal as children explore their independence and learn to express their emotions, they can be particularly challenging during the busy and overstimulating holiday season. From travel and family gatherings to the excitement (and occasional overwhelm) of the holidays, tantrums can feel more intense and frequent during this time of year.
Though we can’t completely eliminate tantrums, we can take steps to manage them more effectively. Using these proven tantrum-taming techniques, you can reduce the frequency and intensity of meltdowns—helping your child stay calmer and more regulated throughout the season. This not only creates a more peaceful holiday, but it also provides valuable strategies to carry into the new year and beyond.
So What Can Be Done?
1. Identify Warning Signs
The first step to successfully navigating tantrums is identifying the warning signs. This can be harder than it sounds since many meltdowns seem to come out of nowhere, but taking the time to study your child’s early signs of dysregulation can be an invaluable tantrum-taming tool.
Every child’s warning signs are different, but some common indicators that dysregulation is looming include:
A change in voice tone
Pulling or tugging on face or ears
Increased clinginess
Extreme silliness
Spotting these signs early allows you to adjust and help your child stay calmer before full meltdown mode occurs. According to an article from PBS Kids on managing meltdowns, identifying early signs of frustration helps prevent meltdowns by allowing parents to redirect energy before things escalate. During the holidays, when schedules and routines can be disrupted, staying attuned to your child’s signals can help prevent meltdowns in chaotic situations like crowded events or long trips.
2. Identify Resets
Once you identify your child’s tantrum warning signs, the next key tantrum tamer is knowing what helps your child reset. The timing of these resets is crucial. If your child is already screaming on the floor, it’s much harder to use a reset. But if you employ these techniques earlier in the cycle, they can work like magic.
Some effective resets include:
Snuggles
Silliness or laughter
Space
Movement
A change of subject
A study published in the journal Pediatrics found that physical affection and humor are effective in calming children who are on the verge of a meltdown. With the added stress of the holidays—whether it’s unwrapping presents or the anticipation of a visit from relatives—having a reset strategy at the ready can help your child recover their calm more quickly.
3. Offer Choice and Control
A need for control may seem negative, but offering choice and autonomy is a powerful tantrum tamer. Control is a basic human need, and understanding this can help us support our kids during difficult moments.
When giving children a sense of control:
You set the boundary, but allow them to control aspects of the decision (e.g., “Would you like to brush your teeth first or take a bath first?”).
Offer genuine choices (e.g., “Do you want music or an audiobook while getting ready?”).
According to Motherly, giving children small, manageable choices throughout the day helps reduce power struggles and increases cooperation. During the holidays, you might offer your child choices about how they want to celebrate certain traditions—whether it’s picking a holiday movie or choosing a festive treat to bake. These small decisions can give them a sense of control amid the often overwhelming holiday bustle.
4. Consider Timing
In the heat of the moment, there’s pressure to address negative behavior immediately. But effective tantrum tamers rely on timing. Trying to teach a lesson to a child who is in the middle of a meltdown rarely works. Instead, focus on helping your child move through their emotions first.
Child Mind Institute recommends waiting until your child is calm before addressing the behavior, which can make discipline more effective and reduce stress for both parent and child. With the holiday season often bringing heightened excitement and stress, giving your child space to settle down before trying to teach them anything will help both of you keep your cool.
Bonus: Try Some Hacks
Sometimes kids resist traditional calming techniques like deep breathing. Luckily, these playful tantrum tamers offer the same benefits:
Blow bubbles to regulate breath patterns.
Pretend to blow out candles to encourage slow exhaling.
Inflate balloons or beach balls to promote deep breathing.
These techniques align with research from Harvard Health, which shows that controlled breathing helps regulate the nervous system and reduces anxiety. During the holiday season, where sugar highs and overstimulation are often common, these playful activities can be a fun and effective way to help your child reset in the middle of a hectic day.
Final Thoughts on Taming Tantrums
Tantrums are a normal part of childhood, but using these tantrum tamers can help you feel more confident in managing them. By identifying warning signs, knowing your child’s resets, offering choice and control, and picking the right time to teach, you can reduce the frequency and intensity of meltdowns. And with the holidays just around the corner, these strategies will help ensure you can enjoy a calmer, more connected time with your family.
Remember, taming tantrums is about progress, not perfection.
Need More Support? We’re Here to Help
If tantrums are affecting your family’s quality of life, you don’t have to navigate this alone. At Simplify Life Counseling and Coaching, our experienced parent coach, Tyler Drouet, is here to provide personalized strategies and support. She can help you develop effective tantrum tamers tailored to your child’s unique needs and guide you toward a more peaceful home.
Reach out today to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward calmer, more connected parenting during the holidays and beyond.
