Why You Need to Have Difficult Conversations with Your Family
When a close family member experiences any kind of trauma or traumatic event, it can be very difficult for members of the family to know what to do. How do I support them?
How Do I help them?
I could never imagine going through that so how can I understand? All of these questions are not only incredibly valid, but also normal. So… what can you do when a close family member or even friend experiences any type of trauma? It is my goal to help address the elephant in the room and help provide you with a few tips to help answer these difficult questions.
Be Sensitive
If a close friend or family member is hurting, it is natural for us to want to jump in to be there and help them. However, those who experienced any type of trauma, may not be open to talking about it. Be sensitive, mindful, and accepting that they may not want to talk about it, but reassure them that you are here to listen if they need it.
Respect Boundaries
After a traumatic experience, individuals may create boundaries that they did not have before. This is normal, their body is doing everything it can to protect itself. Respect their boundaries and let them know what you are here for them when they are ready.
Create a Supportive Environment, Be Patient
There is no way of predicting how trauma will affect an individual. It is so important to create a space where your loved one can feel heard and validated. As we say often, healing is not linear. Be patient. It will take time for your loved one to heal, but what you can do is be supportive, listen, validate their experience, and provide empathy (try to put yourself in their shoes). Remember… you do not have to understand to listen or validate.
Educate Yourself
I really encourage you to take the time and educate yourself on the various effects of trauma. Doing this will allow you to better understand what your loved one may be experiencing. The more you understand, the better equipped you will be to support your loved ones.
Prioritize Self Care
In order to help take care of and support someone else, you also have to do this for yourself. It is okay to get tired from supporting a loved one, make sure you recharge and take care of you so you can continue the amazing support you give!
Plan Activities Together
Going out to do activities is a great way to support loved ones who have experienced some sort of trauma. Ask them what they would want to do… remember… don’t force it. This could be as simple as going for a walk, watching a movie, any sort of bonding activity to hold more space for support instead of them having to sit in the pain alone.
