How to Not Hate My Body This Summer
With the temperatures going up, we reach for the clothes in our closets that help us breathe, yet often this time of year can bring up thoughts like…
“This looked better on me last summer”
“I don’t like the way my _______ look in this!”
“What will people think about how my body looks?”
“I would look better in this if only I had ______ .”
“If only I was a size _____ or weighed ______ on the scale.”
“I should have eaten healthier throughout the year or worked out more.”
While these thoughts are sadly normal, they are detrimental to our overall self-worth. Our culture often equates our worth to the size and shape of our bodies…especially during the summer season. So what can you do when you start to notice these harmful thoughts directed at your body?
Here are a few tips in order to cultivate a sense of body positivity and compassion over the summer.
Be mindful of what you are absorbing on social media. What I eat in a day videos, the latest cottage cheese protein trend, how to get your summer beach bod, juice cleanses to shed those extra pounds, and anything related to “six easy steps to get the body you’ve always wanted!” are NOT helpful in guiding you towards a healthy relationship with your body and food. Consider unfollowing or muting any accounts that make you feel less confident about your body.
When you get dressed, ask yourself “how do I feel in this outfit?” before looking in the mirror. Our brains are often wired to be self-critical as we are getting dressed in front of the mirror, so therefore it can help to consider how we feel in something before we consider how we look in something.
Consider how you can show your body love AND freedom this summer. Maybe somedays it is exercising and maybe others it is having pizza and ice-cream by the pool! There can be a balance between taking care of your body’s health while also allowing your body to rest and enjoy what is in front of you.
Try to abstain from negative comments with others about bodies. It’s normal for the topics of weight and body sizing to come up in conversation during the summer. When (not if) it does come up, try to not feed into the conversation. Although it can be a way to connect with others, it is not doing your self-worth or their self-worth any favors. Try changing the subject or sharing how you are trying to work on cultivating more body positivity.
Before rushing to the gym, ask yourself “how can I show my body love and respect today?” Maybe sometimes it is cardio or strength training, other times gentle yoga, or other times nothing at all! Your body’s needs will fluctuate with the time and season, so listen to it and then proceed accordingly with the wisdom it has for you.
Seek to prioritize the present moment over how you are feeling about your body. We can often lose the power of life’s beautiful moments right in front of us when we are too stuck in our heads about how we look. Though it is normal to be conscientious about how we present ourselves, we can benefit from not letting this awareness steal all of our mental energy. When we look back on memories, we will want to remember the joy and not picking ourselves apart for our perceived physical flaws.
Another helpful way to find freedom from your inner body image critic is to use affirmations. Here are a few examples…
(The starred affirmations are adapted from Dr. Hillary McBride’s book listed below in the resources)
I deserve to treat my body with love and respect.
My body is so much more than just an appearance. It encompasses the fullness of what it means to be human.*
My body tells the story of where I have been and what I have lived through.
I can trust my body to tell me what it needs.
My worth is not found in how I look in the mirror or the number on the scale.
I can respond to negative body image thoughts with curiosity and kindness *
I can accept my body just as it is today.
I don’t need to change my body in order to be more valuable, even if my culture says otherwise.*
My worth comes from inside of me, and I am inherently worthy.
My appearance is a part of me, but it is not the only or most important part of me.
If you are looking to grow in your relationship with your body this summer, please do not hesitate to reach out to one of our trained professionals. We would love to work with you on finding wholeness in your body, so that you can ultimately live with more freedom and joy. Several of our clinicians utilize somatic-based techniques in the therapy office in order to help indiviudals cultivate a sense of trust and safety within their bodies. Additionally, here are a few of our favorite resources regarding how to have a healthy relationship with your body…
The Wisdom of Your Body by Dr. Hillary McBride
Breaking Free From Body Shame by Jess Connolly
Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image by Dr. Hillary McBride
Embody: Learning to Love Your Unique Body by Connie Sobczak
Eating in the Light of the Moon by Anita Johnson
Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst
*Writer’s note to the reader: Hopefully if you’ve read this far you will see that this blog is not just directed towards women. Though our culture speaks more openly about body dissatisfaction with women, this is a topic that applies to lots of us regardless of gender or age. As a clinician who specializes in body image and disordered eating, I have seen this battle occur in both men and women, yet often there is a shame attached to men addressing this issue. Hopefully as a society we can continue to break that shame.
