The stories that shape us
“The idea of story has long been one that has fascinated me.”
The idea of story has long been one that has fascinated me. It is what originally drew me into this field to start with. Both my own personal story of pain and growth and having others share their stories with me. Recently I attended a conference led by Dan Allendar focused solely on StoryWork. He taught the tenants of this work and described what makes narrative therapy or Storywork unique. This idea that what has happened to us or has occurred in our own past or even our family members' lives that helps shape our lives and our personhood. We are called to help bridge the gap of the Gospel story and our own stories both personally and interpersonally and see how things things can intersect moving forward.
I’m particular to this idea of narrative or Storywork because it helps teach that we are not left as we are. Narrative therapy has been clinically proven to help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression and helps improve the quality of someones life. Often the clients I meet with feel stuck, confused or like they are solely responsible for pain that has occurred in their lives. This guilt or shame can be overwhelming and consuming. This is particularly true if there has been significant pain, trauma or abuse in a person’s history.
As we meet, together we are able to identify childhood pains, broken attachment, how to distinguish healthy and unhealthy boundaries, grieve these pains or harms and even come to forgive the pain or harms of the past if needed. Together we can identify negative core beliefs and negative thoughts using techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy [CBT] and through the process of story, we can recognize that our stories are ones that are powerful. These stories are used to mold us, shape us, grow us and change us into the people that we want to be or help us become who God has called us to be.
This personal narrative work allows us to engage core beliefs from our families of origin and look at abuse, trauma or pain in a way that is healing, hopeful and motivating [instead of keeping us stuck, weighted down and trapped by our past]. Over the years I have had had the privilege of walking with many girls and women through stories of pain. One way I like to view my job is as one who is holing hope that things can improve or change, even if the woman sitting in front of me doesn't yet have that hope on their own. The hope is that while engaging with our pain and brokenness we can move towards repair, peace and healing.
Dan Allendar says that we should, “take seriously the story that God has given you to live… Taking time to read your own life, because your story is the one that could set us all ablaze.”
