What Is Anxiety & When Is It A Problem?
A few weeks ago I had a conversation with one of my friends who is a high school teacher—he asked, “What’s the deal with anxiety? I feel like every kid I teach says they have anxiety!”
Well, he wasn’t totally wrong…
Anxiety is a normal human emotion that everyone experiences at various levels across their life.
Let’s take a step back and think about the purpose of our emotions. Emotions are data points that help us understand how we feel about a certain situation. So, when anxiety levels start to rise, this could be an indicator that something is threatening, unresolved, or feels too far out of our control. The body is alerting us that we should focus on this problem and potentially take some action.
Being chased by a lion should surely invoke anxiety, prompting us to try to run and protect ourselves. It is also normal to feel anxiety with an impending test, encountering totally new situations, or dealing with the drama that high school often brings.
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It’s normal to feel anxiety with an impending test, encountering totally new situations, or dealing with the drama that high school often brings.
If everyone experiences anxiety, how do you know if you should seek professional help?
Anxiety in and of itself is not a problem. In fact, it can often be a great tool in helping us focus our attention on what is necessary!
However, it becomes a problem when it starts turning into persistent and excessive worry that is not an appropriate level of stress for the actual situation. This severity of anxiety can often feel uncontrollable and affect many aspects of life, both mentally and physically.
Noticing a significant increase in worry, lack of concentration, restlessness, upset stomach, or sleeping problems could be a sign that some extra help is needed to manage anxiety.
Anxiety is a problem when it becomes:
1. Physical - It affects your quality and quantity of sleep, reduces your appetite, and/or ability to concentrate.
2. Constant - It never seems to fade, even if there is no specific event that is anxiety provoking.
3. Avoidant - You start to skip out on seeing people, places, or things because anxiety seems too loud.
4. Out of Control - The anxiety you are feeling may be out of proportion to the actual situation or fear.
5. Helpless - You feel unable to manage it with coping skills or relaxation, or anything else you might try.
Anxiety is a not problem when it is:
1. Situational - Your anxiety is related to a time sensitive situation that most people would be anxious about like an exam or job interview.
2. Short Term - You feel some jitteriness or stomach aches, but they go away quickly.
3. Bearable - Even though you feel nervous, you can still be in a situation that causes you to fear like still taking the exam or making it through the job interview.
4. Beneficial - The anxious feelings can actually benefit you by helping you focus while studying for your exams.
5. Manageable - You have some tools in your back pocket to release the anxiety.
It’s important to remember that validating the emotion is often the best first step.
Sometimes in trying to talk ourselves or others down, we suggest that “it’s not that big of a deal,” or “you are blowing this out of proportion.” While those statements may be true, most of the time they are often not helpful.
The next time you or someone you love starts feeling anxious, try and focus on acknowledging how they/you are feeling.
Anxiety is something we all have. It is natural, it is helpful, it is a signal to listen to—but it’s often very loud and at times can feel overwhelming.
If anxiety feels overwhelming, unable to manage, and is keeping you from enjoying parts of your life, consider reaching out to a trained therapist who can help you decide if therapy is right for you or your child.
