Simplify Life counselors share their book recommendations for parenting.

“I want to read a perfect story that is flat, predictable, and prescribed. I do not want any surprises, twists and turns, nor anything shocking that might interest me.”

… said no reader ever.

While the holidays can bring joy, laughter, and fun, they also can be times of immense loneliness, depression, conflict, and anxiety. Here are some tips that might alleviate some of the stress and help you actually relax and enjoy what the holidays can bring.

This week, the calendar flipped over to November and on the first day I saw a house already decorated for the holidays and heard seasonal music playing in a store. I noticed a social media post commenting on the variety of opinions around this subject. Some think it’s too early; some can hardly wait for the glow of holiday lights to fill up the streets.

The holidays can bring more than just the cheer of the season. The holiday season is known for bringing up nostalgic feelings. It is a time of family, friends, and giving. People often reflect on their year during this time. Holidays can bring our current life stresses to the surface, whether that be changing careers, a new baby, a loved one that has passed or the mourning of a desire. The holidays often bring our biggest emotions to the forefront. The holidays also show us the reality of our support systems, or where those might be lacking.

Perhaps more than ever before, motherhood is wrought with doubt and guilt at every turn. Whether working outside the home, staying at home, or some combination of the two, a common refrain heard from so many mothers is the pervasive feeling of falling short. What is at the root of this widespread problem, and more importantly, how can we combat the lies and live at peace as the mothers we were designed to be?

While the biggest emotions you may be experiencing are pain and sadness, it is normal to feel anger, confusion, numbness, out of control, embarrassment, apathy, etc. Whatever your reaction is to this overwhelming loss, it is valid. You do not need to bring any additional disappointment or shame into this situation, so do not judge yourself for your own emotions. You will most likely have thoughts, emotions, behaviors that are confusing or feel out of character.

Panic attacks are becoming more prevalent unfortunately. Knowing what to look for, what to do, and what to say (and not say!) can help deescalate the intensity of a panic attack and prevent future heightened moments of panic.